Today was the day that I almost died. Hmm maybe that is a little dramatic. Today was the day that I came within inches of death yet will live another day to tell my story. Much better. And where did my near death experience take place, you might ask? And how did I make it out alive? Quit asking so many dang questions and I will tell you my story...... So I am at the office cleaning. We didn't have patients today, Tyson was gone, and those nasty floor boards were driving me nuts. So I went to the office with my cleaning supplies to clean. I got done with almost the entire office but I had saved the worst for last. The dreaded bathroom hallway. So this is a little awkward to try and explain. See, there is another office (which is currently empty) right next to us. We have a bathroom in between the two offices in a hallway. The hallway has a door on each end. That way we can keep our door nice and locked so that the neighbors can't just come in to our office through the hallway. Make sense? Yes I know I just said that the office next to us is currently empty but that could change any day so we keep the habit of keeping it locked up. So anyway, I have made my way to the hallway to clean it. I am cleaning away and realize that the back of the door is horrendous and needs a little TLC. Well I was in a cleaning zone and wanted to get it done and before I know it I realize that I had shut the door that leads back into our office while I was cleaning the door. Oh CRAP. I am locked in the creepy not quite all the way clean and somewhat dirty hallway. What did I do? I PANICKED!!! Tyson is out of town (st. george), I don't have neighbors in the next office to let me out. No one else is in the building. I see my life pass before my eyes: the kids that I would have had if only I had had children. My grandbabies growing up without their loving grandmother if only I had had children in the first place. The big mansion that I could have lived in if only Tyson and I were extremely rich and spoiled... I tried to tell myself that there was a way out. That this wasn't the end for me. Ok, don't panic don't
panic! Then I remembered.... how stupid am I? I.... HAD.... MY KEYS WITH ME!! I cried for joy. With trembling hands and wet tears streaming down my almost defeated face, I put the key in the door. It wouldn't open. What? How could this be?! Why the HECK was the lock different from the front door? Who DOES that?! I run to the neighbors door. Still locked. Nope, my key won't work there either. I run back to the other door, praying that this time for such odd reason it would work. No such luck. I cry out in anguish. Is this how I was supposed to die?! Trapped in a bathroom hallway with no one around to care? No. It couldn't be. I would find another way. Then I realize... my mother is on her way to the store. I'll just have her come into the office and unlock the door for me! Wait. Wait one second. In an effort to be safe, I had locked the front office door so that no one would sneak in and snatch me up while I cleaned. In an effort to be safe.. I had only ensured a long and torturous death. I could look on the bright side though.. at least I had a bathroom to use if I had to go potty. Even though I would sit their and waste away over the weekend only to be discovered on Monday morning, I could still look on the bright side of things. I am just that kind of person I guess. Ok no I am not. How the freak am I gonna get out?! Well, the only other option I had was to take the door down. I tried to decide how to do it. I used to be pretty good at kick boxing... I could probably whack it down in one swift kick. The only weapon I could find to use against the door was a plunger from the bathroom. I could throw all of my body weight into it. Surely that would take the dang thing down. Which did I go with? None of the above. I went the unconventional route and decided to take the hinges off the door. How long was I there working my fingers to the bone to get those stupid stubborn hinges out of their place? We will never know. But what you DO need to know is that I did it. Holy cow I did it. By the time I got it taken apart, I was so frustrated that I decided I would leave the door how it was and let Tyson fix it Monday morning before patients came in. But then again, you NEVER know if a neighbor might move into the office next to us that weekend. Hey its very possible. So what did I do? I mustered all of the strength I had left in me, and I put the door back in place. As I walked out to my truck to drive home, I saw the land lord out mowing the grass. I waved and he waved. How naive he was, waving at me and not realizing that if I hadn't been absolutely amazing at getting myself out alive that day, he would have had a murder investigation on his hands. Because NO ONE would have believed that I could have been dumb enough to lock myself into the bathroom hall. It would have HAD to have been a homicide............
